The day my brain failed me.
It was 10:51 pm on a Tuesday night. I was talking to my friend Carrie and was just about to go to sleep. I had my husband’s .357 in bed from the night before when I got spooked. I had accidentally cocked the gun earlier in the evening. Why I don’t know, don’t remember. So I decided to release the hammer. My husband and my Dad had shown me how numerous times. I thought, “I can do this.” Mistake number one, I’ve never handled this gun before, mistake number two I never actually did the release myself. But hey, I grew up around guns, I respect the firearms, I know the dangers, I know gun safety, I was trying to put the ‘safety’ back in place. So, I sit up on the side of my bed. I put the gun in my right hand and I was cradling the chamber with my left hand. I mean I wasn’t going to shoot it so it’s safe. I put my thumb on the hammer and I guess I pulled the trigger. That part is kind of fuzzy. The next thing I know the alarm is going off, the dog is freaking out.
I thought to myself, “Did I just hear a gun shot? Did I just shoot the gun? No, I didn’t shoot the gun. Oh shit! I just pulled the trigger! Oh Shit! OH SHIT! Where did it shoot? I look up and the mirror on the dresser has about a 1” inch hole and it’s shattered. Oh thank God, I didn’t shoot anybody. Oh shit my hand is throbbing. Did I shoot my hand? Oh shit I’m scared to look. Laurie, you have to look.” I muster up the courage and look. “Oh thank God. It’s ok, no blood, no swelling.” Then I began wondering what I should do. Should I let the alarm go off until the cops come? What would I tell the cops? Do I call Dad since Heath is at work?
I get up turn off the alarm and call my parents’ house, it was busy. It must have taken me 5 tries to get my Mom’s cell phone number dialed. It rings a few times and Dad answers the phone.
“Dad, I just hurt myself with my gun.”
“I’ll be right there.” (I find out later my Mom is a sleep. My Dad is trying to wake her up. She’s sleeping so hard she doesn’t hear him. He starts yelling, “Jan! Get up! We have to go to Laurie’s! She’s hurt herself with her gun!” My Mom jumps and throws clothes on. She heard “Laurie’s shot herself!” She runs outside, my Dad’s already in the car. He’s scaring her on the short drive to my house (around the corner and up halfway up the block). They get halfway here and he asks her if she has a key to my house. Right about that time they see my house and that the front door is open.
I call Heath at work, no answer. I call the main number and Heath answers. “Heath, I just hurt myself with the gun.”
“I’ll be right home.”
“I called Dad and I didn’t shoot myself.”
“I’m still one my way.”
My parents came flying up the front porch. They come in the house, my Dad storms into my bedroom. “Where are your guns?” I look in there and he’s unloading all the guns. I asked him, “What are you doing?” “I’m unarming you. You don’t need a gun. You are too paranoid.”
I look at my mirror and proceed to ask my Dad, “Do you think Jimmy can fix my mirror?” (Jimmy being his friend the glass man.) My Mom looks at me like I just lost my mind. My Dad’s hollering and mumbling to himself. He does answer with, “I don’t know.”
Mom gets me an ice pack and I sit down on the couch. When I was growing up, my Dad always jokingly called me Edith (as in Edith Bunker). No matter how book smart I got, I was, and still am, a ding dong. I calmly say, “I guess I’m really Edith now.” My Mom chuckles and my Dad finally calms down. He agrees.
About this time Heath walks in the back door. He says, “Hey Quick Draw.” I just start crying. I can’t stop. I’m telling them, “I’m a dumb ass. I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I’m so stupid.”
Then we looked at my hand again. It is now bleeding. It had blistered and popped. We then have a discussion about what to do. What to put on it. I remembered my sister has the good burn cream. I tell them that. I said call Lisa. My Mom was a little hesitant because it was so late and she didn’t know if my sister was at work. I said call any way, someone will know something.
My Mom picks up the phone and calls my sister. Lisa answers. Mom tells what’s going on and I hear my sister say, “Was she medicated?” I yelled, “NO! I’m not medicated!”
My parents then leave to go get the medicine. Lucky for me Lisa lives two streets down. Heath leaves to go back to work when my parents get back.
Dad bandages me up. He then apologizes for yelling at me. I told him I wasn’t crying because he yelled me. I was crying because I’m a dumb ass.
We end up having to give Stinky some doggie Xanax. That was funny because she ate the bologna and spit the pill out. Dad had to put the pill down her throat so she’d swallow it. They live. I called my sister and gave her the story, she was laughing at me. Told me we all do stupid stuff sometimes. I agreed and reminded her of the time she fell off her pool deck and knocked herself out. It’s an accident.
I pop online and try to finish my conversation with Carrie and she’d already gone to bed. She was left with this note when she woke up. “I’m such a dumb ass.”
I find another friend online and relay the entire event to him. He proceeds to tell me it’s not as uncommon as I think and that shit happens.
I already had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for Wednesday. It was to go over my blood work. I told the nurse and the doctor what happened. My doctor was trying so hard not to laugh at me. He did end up making smart ass jokes about it. I got a Tetanus shot and some antibiotics. He told me to keep using my sister’s burn cream, how to clean it, and that it looked like it would heal well.
So now, my hand hurts and it’s raw. But you know what, that’s ok because I didn’t hurt any one. Now, everyone has a nickname for me. Annie Oakley, Sure Shot, Shooter, Quick Draw. My husband has revoked my firearm privileges. The next time I’m spooked, Stinky and I will be heading over to Mom and Dad’s. I’m finally starting to laugh at the event, but I still feel like dumb ass.
I thought to myself, “Did I just hear a gun shot? Did I just shoot the gun? No, I didn’t shoot the gun. Oh shit! I just pulled the trigger! Oh Shit! OH SHIT! Where did it shoot? I look up and the mirror on the dresser has about a 1” inch hole and it’s shattered. Oh thank God, I didn’t shoot anybody. Oh shit my hand is throbbing. Did I shoot my hand? Oh shit I’m scared to look. Laurie, you have to look.” I muster up the courage and look. “Oh thank God. It’s ok, no blood, no swelling.” Then I began wondering what I should do. Should I let the alarm go off until the cops come? What would I tell the cops? Do I call Dad since Heath is at work?
I get up turn off the alarm and call my parents’ house, it was busy. It must have taken me 5 tries to get my Mom’s cell phone number dialed. It rings a few times and Dad answers the phone.
“Dad, I just hurt myself with my gun.”
“I’ll be right there.” (I find out later my Mom is a sleep. My Dad is trying to wake her up. She’s sleeping so hard she doesn’t hear him. He starts yelling, “Jan! Get up! We have to go to Laurie’s! She’s hurt herself with her gun!” My Mom jumps and throws clothes on. She heard “Laurie’s shot herself!” She runs outside, my Dad’s already in the car. He’s scaring her on the short drive to my house (around the corner and up halfway up the block). They get halfway here and he asks her if she has a key to my house. Right about that time they see my house and that the front door is open.
I call Heath at work, no answer. I call the main number and Heath answers. “Heath, I just hurt myself with the gun.”
“I’ll be right home.”
“I called Dad and I didn’t shoot myself.”
“I’m still one my way.”
My parents came flying up the front porch. They come in the house, my Dad storms into my bedroom. “Where are your guns?” I look in there and he’s unloading all the guns. I asked him, “What are you doing?” “I’m unarming you. You don’t need a gun. You are too paranoid.”
I look at my mirror and proceed to ask my Dad, “Do you think Jimmy can fix my mirror?” (Jimmy being his friend the glass man.) My Mom looks at me like I just lost my mind. My Dad’s hollering and mumbling to himself. He does answer with, “I don’t know.”
Mom gets me an ice pack and I sit down on the couch. When I was growing up, my Dad always jokingly called me Edith (as in Edith Bunker). No matter how book smart I got, I was, and still am, a ding dong. I calmly say, “I guess I’m really Edith now.” My Mom chuckles and my Dad finally calms down. He agrees.
About this time Heath walks in the back door. He says, “Hey Quick Draw.” I just start crying. I can’t stop. I’m telling them, “I’m a dumb ass. I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I’m so stupid.”
Then we looked at my hand again. It is now bleeding. It had blistered and popped. We then have a discussion about what to do. What to put on it. I remembered my sister has the good burn cream. I tell them that. I said call Lisa. My Mom was a little hesitant because it was so late and she didn’t know if my sister was at work. I said call any way, someone will know something.
My Mom picks up the phone and calls my sister. Lisa answers. Mom tells what’s going on and I hear my sister say, “Was she medicated?” I yelled, “NO! I’m not medicated!”
My parents then leave to go get the medicine. Lucky for me Lisa lives two streets down. Heath leaves to go back to work when my parents get back.
Dad bandages me up. He then apologizes for yelling at me. I told him I wasn’t crying because he yelled me. I was crying because I’m a dumb ass.
We end up having to give Stinky some doggie Xanax. That was funny because she ate the bologna and spit the pill out. Dad had to put the pill down her throat so she’d swallow it. They live. I called my sister and gave her the story, she was laughing at me. Told me we all do stupid stuff sometimes. I agreed and reminded her of the time she fell off her pool deck and knocked herself out. It’s an accident.
I pop online and try to finish my conversation with Carrie and she’d already gone to bed. She was left with this note when she woke up. “I’m such a dumb ass.”
I find another friend online and relay the entire event to him. He proceeds to tell me it’s not as uncommon as I think and that shit happens.
I already had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for Wednesday. It was to go over my blood work. I told the nurse and the doctor what happened. My doctor was trying so hard not to laugh at me. He did end up making smart ass jokes about it. I got a Tetanus shot and some antibiotics. He told me to keep using my sister’s burn cream, how to clean it, and that it looked like it would heal well.
So now, my hand hurts and it’s raw. But you know what, that’s ok because I didn’t hurt any one. Now, everyone has a nickname for me. Annie Oakley, Sure Shot, Shooter, Quick Draw. My husband has revoked my firearm privileges. The next time I’m spooked, Stinky and I will be heading over to Mom and Dad’s. I’m finally starting to laugh at the event, but I still feel like dumb ass.
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