In the past couple of weeks, I've realized that I love this little girl so much it hurts. I kiss her nonstop and tell her I love her. It's so weird to feel this way. I never thought I would. I really thought I'd be slightly indifferent to this parenting thing. I thought I'd try to push off taking care of her on Heath or my Mom. Today we went to Heath's Grandma's 90th birthday party and I wouldn't let anyone but Heath's immediate family hold her. The whole time someone else has her I'm constantly watching them. I have a hard time going to sleep because I'm so paranoid I won't hear her wake up. I hold her and stare at her for hours. I won't shower unless someone is here to watch her.I'm going to have a hell of time going back to work.